What I Learned From Taking A Gap Year

Hi everyone,

I've already shared with you, that I took a gap year after high school. In today's post  I would like to share why and what I've learned from it. Before I start I will say that I get different reactions when I tell people that I took a gap year. Some will say that it's a good choice, or even that they would have wanted that too. But others are negative, not trusting me that I will start studying, or they just think it's weird.. I want to share that the right choice is the one that feels right. For me that was taking a break from school and do something else.

During my final year in high school, I felt pressure on choosing what I wanted to study when I graduated. And I felt exhausted after 6 years of high school. For me high school wasn't easy, I had to put in a lot of energy to get good grades. So I felt exhausted, but combined with that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I knew it would be in the area of communication or language. I just didn't know and for me it felt like there was nothing I liked. After a few conversations with my parents it became clear for me that a gap year was the right choice. And when I knew it was, pressure fell of my shoulders.

 Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

Work.

I graduated high school and started my gap year with a vacation to Lanzarote with my boyfriend. After a nice summer, the schools and universities started, but not for me. It was weird to see my friends go to school again and I was just working, with a different rythm as I worked most of the weekends and had my days off during the week. I admit that in the first months of my gap year I made the mistake of throwing myself into work. While working 40-45 hours a week, I wanted to also see my friends and boyfriend (who was also working full time) and combined this with working out. I asked too much of myself. I wanted to take a break from school but I didn't take time for myself because I was working all the time. On my days off I didn't take time for myself (not enough), because I had to do other things and go to appointments.

After Christmas it became to much to handle. The following months I really had my ups and downs, leading to quitting my job. I'm a kind of person that absorbs all my feelings, not really sharing them. So I didn't tell my boss that it was too much for me and I actually needed a break. I just continued until I couldn't deal with it anymore. But when I left I felt relieved. This was a good choice that I not regret at all. Learning that I have to listen to myself and share my feelings. I hope I never let something as small as a job at a cafeteria become that kind of a burden to me.

Since a few months I'm working as a waitress in a larger, more professional restaurant. I will say I like the work I do and I like the people I'm working with. Even though the working days are long I am enjoying them. But now, I'm listening to myself. Not letting work take such a part of me. It's a definitely better this way. Now I work around 20-30 hours a week. But because in these first few months I forgot to take care of myself I feel like I've waisted these months. So a part of me maybe wants to delay studying and take some more time of myself. It's not something I will do, but I do think about it sometimes.

If you are thinking about taking a gap year, my advise would be, yes to find a job and work regularly, but also to listen to yourself and to make time for yourself. You choose to take a year off, make the most of it!

Koningstraat, Arnhem, Netherlands

Social life.

My social life changed after graduating high school. Friends I saw daily, 'disappeared', continuing with their own lifes. At first I didn't notice but after a while I started to realise that the group of friends I used to have was gone. It fell apart as we were split up across the country. But the hardest part was that I lost friends and people around me, but I didn't meet new people. And all my friends did, they went to new schools, they met new people, they made new friends and I didn't. And when I realised that this was happening I felt very lonely sometimes.

It wasn't the fact that I had no friends anymore, because that is not true. But during a lot of days I wasn't surrounded with people/friends anymore. I already knew the people at work and a lot of them were much older than me. The time on my days off, I often spend at home. Like I said earlier, my days off were mostly during the week, while my friends were going to school. I didn't have much time to see them. But the times I did see them, they became more valuable to me. Having lunch with my high school best friend, and sharing what had happened the past month(s). Just chatting the hours away. This did gave me energy and I really appreciated those moments, they meant a lot to me. This year I've realised what friends mean to me. I've experienced lonelyness and I've learned that meeting new people and making friends is very important.

Since a got a new job my social life improved. I've met new people, that are also more the same age. I haven't felt lonely anymore and I'm enjoying getting to know other people. Even when I have a boyfriend who I see often and a few friends, it's important for me to get to know other people and to make new friends. It's healthy when you have a diversity of people around you. I would give as advise that if you're taking a gap year or not, make sure you have people around you. If you haven't seen a friend for a while, go get lunch and catch up! Also, be grateful for the people and friends you have.

 Korsakov Asia Theme, Maassilo, Rotterdam, Netherlands

Personal.

In this year I've had the time, and I took the time to 'explore' myself. What are things I like to do? What do I want to do with my life? (Yes, questions like this) How do I see my future? I've asked myself a lot this year. And now I see things more clearly. I don't see myself working full time for the rest of my life. If I learned something this year it's that I dislike 'jobs'. I don't want to be stuck on a job for the rest of my life, I want freedom. To have this kind of freedom I will need money, I haven't really figured out that part yet. But it's something I learned about myself and something I hope to achieve someday.

I have also took time to do fun things. This year I've been to a few Drum&Bass parties, I learned how to cook and I saved up to buy/build the computer of my dreams. I've noticed about myself that I like and want to be productive, but I also enjoy my days of doing nothing. I did have weeks this year, where I didn't do anything. I just sat in front of my computer playing games (or something like that). After a few of those days I want to be productive, and have the feeling I'm doing something meaningful. But after a few productive days, I really enjoy laying on the counch or playing games. This is something personal, but when this is balanced, I feel good.

This year I've learned how to drive a car, I now have my driver's licence and I'm already enjoying it! I'm glad I made sure I got this in my year off, it's harder to get my licence while I'm busy with my studies. I also bought a few 'gadgets' for myself with the money I earned. Like a phone (Google Pixel 2 xl), a Playstation 4 (together with my boyfriend) and a computer. I'm still saving because the next plan I have is moving out, and I will need money for that. When this will happen is still a question for me, but it's always better to start earlier with saving. I learned the value of money this year. I worked hard for my money and bought things I really needed or wanted. My phone was really necessary as it was a old one and I also dropped it, and it was broken.. A part of the screen wasn't working anymore.. And my computer is a thing I really wanted to have. I hope it lasts 10 years, maybe I would have to replace a part or two but it's a investment I wanted to make.

 University of Utrecht, Utrecht, Netherlands

This year had it's ups and downs. It's been a emotional rollercoaster for me, I've learned a lot about myself, what I like, what I want, what my weaknesses are. I still have no regret at all for making this decision a year ago. It was and still is the right choice for me, I'm excited to start my studies after this summer. This was a very personal post for me to write, but it's the truth. But I recommend a gap year? Yes, I've learned so much about life I didn't learn in school. I don't think everyone should do it, but nobody should be afraid to make this choice.

I'm excited about going to university, I will see what the following years of my study will bring me. I hope lots of friends and fun moments! And I to learn a thing or two. This was it for today's post, I really wanted to share my experience with you guys. I will see you in the next one!

Love,

Julia



*Disclaimer: I'm not a professional, I'm not saying that you also should take a gap year, I am just sharing my thoughts, opinion and experciences. Also, a gap year is experienced differently by everyone.
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